Smiling Beauty and the PMSing Beast

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WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!  Ladies, how many of you suffer from PMS or PMDD?  I haven’t actually been diagnosed but I’m quite sure I have both.  What extensive research has helped me draw this conclusion?  Let’s see, I become impossible, overly sensitive, overly critical, irritable, argumentative, BEYOND moody, irrationally defensive, hysterical, low tolerance levels, difficulty concentrating, anxiety for no apparent reason…and those are just the emotional/psychological side effects. 

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As for physical…the MIGRAINES are unbearable, uh…constipation, female chest pain (if you get me lol), difficulty sleeping, cramps that feel like you’re giving birth rather than just getting rid of an egg.  Get it?  It’s kinda hard to be Little Miss Sunshine.

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The thing is, what makes this hard for me is that I’m known for smiling a lot.  The days that I don’t smile, people are so quick to say “what’s wrong?” or “why aren’t you smiling?”  Some people ask because they care, while others, like I mentioned in my “So not a morning person…So what?” blog, do it to give me the “psycho treatment”.  Some people act like I’m bipolar or schizophrenic or something.  (No offense to bipolar or schizophrenic people out there, I actually empathize with you) 

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The other day I had a horrible PMS migraine, but my mom made a joke and I was walking away laughing and someone said “oh we’re happy today” in this mocking tone.  So I found myself telling her what my mom said as a substitute to just going off on her like the voices in my head were telling me to do LOL.  (that was a schizophrenic joke, I really don’t hear voices lol, and if any schizophrenics are reading this and are offended, it was a JOKE). 

It just intensifies my PMS/PMDD when people make their stupid ignorant remarks.  People act like I choose to be this way.  They act like I should control it.  Um, this is hormonal, if it were up to me, I’d never get PMS or my period for that matter!  Can a woman control her hormones?  Can a woman control the migraine she gets as well as the cramps?  What makes you think she can control the emotional effects of her hormones if she can’t control the physical effects?  So much for controlling hormones.  Oh…my goodness, and if you saw my aunt (from my father’s side), you would say I was a saint.  I’m really not that bad, in fact when I get that bad PMS, I actually stay away from people so I don’t offend them with my behavior.  But people poke and poke and poke.  For example, if I’m at a place where I know a lot of people, whether at work or a social function- when I’m not PMSing, I can socialize nicely, but if I’m PMSing, I’ll keep to myself, or I’ll leave early.  I love how people have something to say about that.  “Why did you leave so early?”  “You should try harder”  “I thought you were mad.”  “Why are you mad?”  “Why aren’t you talking?”  Like, SHUT UP!!! 

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What ever happened to the saying “live and let live”?  If I am leaving a function early, or if I keep to myself at work, how am I hurting you?  How does that affect you?  Would you prefer I stay at the function and look all awkward?  Would you prefer I talk to everyone at work and insult them if the mood takes me?  So why can’t you just let me be, and if want to leave early or keep to myself, just let me do it?  Let me do ME. 

I conclude this blog with a shout out to all women.  All of us are precious creatures of God.  We have so much to deal with.  God knows we can handle it all.  We have different ways of handling our issues, but we work it out.  Let’s support each other, not bring each other down.  I can’t expect everyone to be like me, but you can’t expect me to be like you either.  Live and let live.  Let’s just be ourselves and love each other that way by respecting our boundaries and ENCOURAGING each other.  Most of all, give me chocolate!

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Sooo not a morning person…so what?

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Everyone who knows me, knows I’m not a morning person. I move slower, I’m very quiet and usually irritable, my mind just doesn’t work. It’s like my brain is in a dense fog of *yawn* what was I talking about just now? Get the picture?
It’s funny because I know I’m not the only person in the world who is like this…and yet people who ARE morning people or who are “all day long” people (*rolling eyes*) are really quick to judge me for not being a morning person. In their self-righteous little universe, they rush to give me what I call the “psycho treatment”. This behavior basically consists of walking up to me slowly wide-eyed with an analytical expression as if to say “Is it safe psycho? It’s 9am and I’m going to say hi to you at my own risk” Meanwhile I’m looking that the person like “don’t do it…don’t do it…just go away.” Of course after they receive the cold “morning” from me (because I never say “GOOD morning”…hello? I’m not a morning person, so there’s nothing GOOD about my mornings, I stick to honesty and just say “morning”) they walk away…still wide eyed as if they got smacked in a sensitive sinus area on the forehead, this time not with an analytical expression but with an expression of confirmation, “yea this girl is evil.”

My question to you is: why does that make me evil?
My mom is a morning person. I could be taking a shower in the morning and be in total “morning misery” and she can walk in the bathroom humming and whistling. She’ll tell me about the dreams she had the night before, she’ll talk about what she plans on doing throughout the day, she’ll vent to me about something. I’ll just be in the shower with my eyes closed scrubbing. Dead air. LOL Don’t get me wrong, I listen to her, but my brain can’t process what she’s saying very well therefore I will provide little feedback. An “mm” here and there, an attempt at a chuckle. She knows. She doesn’t even try to gauge a reaction nor does she judge me for it or take it personally. In the late afternoon, the roles are reversed and I have some energy and my mom’s is dying down.

And that’s okay…
That’s the point: we are all different. If God was boring, he would have made us all one color, one personality, one way of thinking. But no, he made us all different, so why hate? Why judge? Why jump to the conclusion that just because I am not a morning person, that I’m some repressed evil savage? Just because I get moody or PMS doesn’t make me a monster. I can get monstrous while experiencing these things, but I’m not a monster. People make things seem like you can’t have emotions or can’t have a time of day that you absolutely detest. You can’t have hormones or PMS apparently either…but we will get into that subject another day. LOL My mother and I know the times of the day we function the best and the least, we manage to get along and live with it. So with a little understanding, we can all do it. Anyway, I needed to vent about that. Thanks for “listening”. If you comment something about me needing to be a morning person, be ready to have your comment deleted. LOL